neither, a poem from afar
just some random thoughts
i guess my words came true
what i felt for you
was real.
- Mac
Friday, June 22, 2018
Saturday, June 02, 2018
Monday, May 21, 2018
Monday, May 07, 2018
Thursday, December 14, 2017
What Have I Learned in November 2017?
Folks, welcome back to my W.H.I.L. for the month of November 2017. Let's read on and I do hope you'll find yourselves relating to some, or pick-up wisdom along the way.
#1. It's still different when you're confronted with the temptation to spend to your wants. Like craving for an iPhoneX when you can't really afford it, and a priority is set to spend on somewhere else. The game goes on, even to the point of dreaming it, but if your best reflexes came to a point of saturation, your desire decreases in a gradual manner.
#2. Commitment Device - It's applicable as form of prevention in order to not DO the things you don't want to DO, due to forced needs or temptations that are almost inescapable.
Take the case in Greek Mythology - the Sirens Song where, once a sailor hears the enchanted music, it gravitates him to the rocky coast of the island, eventually wrecking his ship and die. But Odysseus cleverly made up a "commitment device" - he asked his crew to tie him tightly to the mast, so that when he's an earshot to the song, he won't be able to navigate toward the rocky coast and just pass by without harm. True to the device's purpose Odysseus came out successfully unharmed.
Have you tried using a commitment device? Like, how not to be tempted in using your credit card... maybe locking it on a vault where the codes will be unknown to you.
#3. (my deeper appreciation on) The beauty and art of listening to Podcasts while driving - now that I'm behind the wheels most of the time, I couldn't afford to read eBooks any longer. So podcasts are now my better bestfriends than Spotify. I am wondering why I learnt these things late back in 2016, if only it could've been earlier - my brain cells would have chugged more info - keeping them fit and muscle worthy - which is one of the best defenses on Alzheimer's disease..
#4. #PaFall (hastag paFALL) - a description I've been tagged by one of my girl-friends. Offline and online, facetime (face to face) and long distance - I guess I really have that tendency to be assigned as such. Contemplating deeply, on my past relationships, friendships, intimate and platonic - yeah and I backread my messages both in social media and text, I was really over-indulging when I care for someone - which for me, it was just a sense of normal responsibility as good Samaritan. Deviating from it, I felt robbed by the pleasure of giving care. And I need to appease that hunger - not to please people but to satisfy my sense of fulfillment to care for others.
Which is seen by those recipients as a different signal, a signal with color and meaning - something deeper, in their perception. But on mine, it is just an extraordinary form of kindness.
Because, one of my many mottos in life "practice kindness" at all times if you can.
Yet, I'm trying to veer away slowly with a sharper purpose when doing this "special care" to others.
#5. I was hurting like for a week in November, ego and heart-wise, if I am to qualify it deeper. Yeahhhhh! it all started with this simple message to a person who's long lost from my distant memory. I never knew it ended so enticing making me flutter with excitement, and long to move fast the months to come (because we planned to meet in March or April or December 2018)
Fast forward...
This chat and voice message over the internet ended so well, satisfyingly, and to describe it more intently - I was stoked. Something happened within those conversations, not just the typical hi-hello convo but a thicker instant bond was formed, raw emotions surging high that led to transparency and openness. Catching up on things, going though on past events and shared our versions of whatIfs.
It was wonderful - the bursting of emotions, was it because it happened somewhere between 12:01AM to almost 3:00AM? They said, when you talk to someone intimately on the wee hours of the morning, you can really get the truest of truth from each other.
I can't disclose any further for the sake of "respect".
To cut the chase..
Two things I learnt: a. be in the exact place to be in the shoes of being "umaasa", which is really hurting at this stage of my life. b. quick turn-around on how to get out from the rubble of being "umaasa" by the rule of facing the pain & shrugging it off.
(PS: If you're reading this, yeah - I want to thank you for the enlightenment, opening me windows to explore the darker side. Hahaha, this time i'll bring my to-be-purchased-powerbank just so if my flashlight runs out of battery, my phone will not run out with juices, HAHAHA)
#6. Drawing the lines with these: just pure friends, intimate friend and plan to convert-an-intimate-to-a-girlfriend.
I have this constant TG friend who for some reasons withstands my tantrums and spike of the moment pings at any time of the day. It has resulted to a great companionship whether that's in-person or via messenger.
So what are the difference between the 3 I mentioned above? TBH, I know the answers but something's whispering to my ears, keep going.
++ end ++
So yeah! That's it folks for me. Happy reading.
~billymacdeus
#1. It's still different when you're confronted with the temptation to spend to your wants. Like craving for an iPhoneX when you can't really afford it, and a priority is set to spend on somewhere else. The game goes on, even to the point of dreaming it, but if your best reflexes came to a point of saturation, your desire decreases in a gradual manner.
#2. Commitment Device - It's applicable as form of prevention in order to not DO the things you don't want to DO, due to forced needs or temptations that are almost inescapable.
Take the case in Greek Mythology - the Sirens Song where, once a sailor hears the enchanted music, it gravitates him to the rocky coast of the island, eventually wrecking his ship and die. But Odysseus cleverly made up a "commitment device" - he asked his crew to tie him tightly to the mast, so that when he's an earshot to the song, he won't be able to navigate toward the rocky coast and just pass by without harm. True to the device's purpose Odysseus came out successfully unharmed.
Have you tried using a commitment device? Like, how not to be tempted in using your credit card... maybe locking it on a vault where the codes will be unknown to you.
#3. (my deeper appreciation on) The beauty and art of listening to Podcasts while driving - now that I'm behind the wheels most of the time, I couldn't afford to read eBooks any longer. So podcasts are now my better bestfriends than Spotify. I am wondering why I learnt these things late back in 2016, if only it could've been earlier - my brain cells would have chugged more info - keeping them fit and muscle worthy - which is one of the best defenses on Alzheimer's disease..
#4. #PaFall (hastag paFALL) - a description I've been tagged by one of my girl-friends. Offline and online, facetime (face to face) and long distance - I guess I really have that tendency to be assigned as such. Contemplating deeply, on my past relationships, friendships, intimate and platonic - yeah and I backread my messages both in social media and text, I was really over-indulging when I care for someone - which for me, it was just a sense of normal responsibility as good Samaritan. Deviating from it, I felt robbed by the pleasure of giving care. And I need to appease that hunger - not to please people but to satisfy my sense of fulfillment to care for others.
Which is seen by those recipients as a different signal, a signal with color and meaning - something deeper, in their perception. But on mine, it is just an extraordinary form of kindness.
Because, one of my many mottos in life "practice kindness" at all times if you can.
Yet, I'm trying to veer away slowly with a sharper purpose when doing this "special care" to others.
#5. I was hurting like for a week in November, ego and heart-wise, if I am to qualify it deeper. Yeahhhhh! it all started with this simple message to a person who's long lost from my distant memory. I never knew it ended so enticing making me flutter with excitement, and long to move fast the months to come (because we planned to meet in March or April or December 2018)
Fast forward...
This chat and voice message over the internet ended so well, satisfyingly, and to describe it more intently - I was stoked. Something happened within those conversations, not just the typical hi-hello convo but a thicker instant bond was formed, raw emotions surging high that led to transparency and openness. Catching up on things, going though on past events and shared our versions of whatIfs.
It was wonderful - the bursting of emotions, was it because it happened somewhere between 12:01AM to almost 3:00AM? They said, when you talk to someone intimately on the wee hours of the morning, you can really get the truest of truth from each other.
I can't disclose any further for the sake of "respect".
To cut the chase..
Two things I learnt: a. be in the exact place to be in the shoes of being "umaasa", which is really hurting at this stage of my life. b. quick turn-around on how to get out from the rubble of being "umaasa" by the rule of facing the pain & shrugging it off.
(PS: If you're reading this, yeah - I want to thank you for the enlightenment, opening me windows to explore the darker side. Hahaha, this time i'll bring my to-be-purchased-powerbank just so if my flashlight runs out of battery, my phone will not run out with juices, HAHAHA)
#6. Drawing the lines with these: just pure friends, intimate friend and plan to convert-an-intimate-to-a-girlfriend.
I have this constant TG friend who for some reasons withstands my tantrums and spike of the moment pings at any time of the day. It has resulted to a great companionship whether that's in-person or via messenger.
So what are the difference between the 3 I mentioned above? TBH, I know the answers but something's whispering to my ears, keep going.
++ end ++
So yeah! That's it folks for me. Happy reading.
~billymacdeus
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