The Longing

And so much of my life has been about returning home and longing for home, 

wanting my children to know about my roots. 

And I thought I can't be the only one to feel this way 

so I thought it would be an interesting topic to explore.

~Sela Ward

The clouds have parted
My heart has winced
And the sun has shined
My mind has dreamed

Chasing fast the shadows
And my feet has sored
Catching real for the winds
And my breath has labored

Nobody said it was easy
how my heart has bled
Let me in now, baby
I'm nowhere to go

Nobody said it was easy
how my mind has known
Let me do it, baby
Don't make me wait so long....





-

Coldplay... simply the best

Learning to channel your emotions through music is absolutely fantastic. This goes well whenever you're in the mood to reminisce the past or could be pondering on something deep, something that is troubling your weary heart and mind... most of the time people who are inclined to pacifying their moods normally turn to listen to their favorite songs, or albums of their favorite artists..

Let's take my case with my fav rock-alternative band, Coldplay... a band i first saw via MTV back in the year 2000. I was still addicted then to the MTV Asia Hitlist and MTV Most Wanted, where i caught the best melancholic song ever heard.. Trouble by Coldplay. This song has been my all-time favorite, it never falters to bring back the sense of making at peace with thyself in some knotty situation, there is a power of this song that alleviates the feelings of loneliness... (Seeing this live-act video of theirs, makes me want to be in the place of the concert, it must have been so amazing!!!)




i love the song Yellow, it lulls me to sleep despite it's rocky prelude and extro... i love it so much that i can relate literally on the title cuz my favorite color is yellow :-)
it's an honest feeling to note that until now, i can't decipher what does it want to convey (the lyrics i mean), although the melody and the way it was performed live (see the video after the break, willyeah?) is directly stunning my senses, it's like putting electrifying energy into my heart, making me want to dance (like crazy!) and sing to the tune everytime i listen to it.




Since i can't get enough of Coldplay's videos via youtube, i stumbled on this live version of The Scientist. Uh-Oh! i must say, it's indescribable, the sadness creeps in.. the song has easily transported me to a deeper state of solitude, rebounding me to see both the glorious events and the not-so-good memories that could break my heart to pieces. When he sang "nobody said it was easssyyyy!" that has made me sober so real.




Finally, what can i say more? Coldplay is simply the best, some say they are the next gen U2, i couldn't compare them although i adore U2s music also. Coldplay rocks! they and their music brings wonder, inspiration and hope to the heart.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

~ from The Scientist

A Tinge of Loneliness

"Smile... though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking"

~ Michael Jackson?

I listened to the yearnings of my heart
But it has failed me to get it right
I heard the echoes of my voice
But it has deafen my choice
I lost the murmurs of pain
But came this twisted sane
To where shall I go?
To where shall I seek?
To where shall I get refuge?



Just the other night
I dreamt so close of love
Wakin up just to get no light
Cuz reality flies like dove
So serene, so weightless
So tough, and so careless
Breakin my heart into pieces
No matter how I tried to divert
Yet it lingers this loneliness



I guess time will tame the fire
On this ever surging feel of desire
But when does it give a closure?
For thy mind is aching on, so pure
That it feels like ages to wait for thee
As if longing pains more unbearably
On and on, on bended knee
Seems hopeless, seems so distant
On these dreams of glory?

Lucky? or just being Stupid...! (part 1)

I dunno how to start this but i'm pressing on time to have this blog written and be posted before 12 midnight GMT. (hehehe). Gotta confess that i didn't get a sound sleep last night because i incidentally messed up my Iphone.

Let's put it this way, i was busy scrolling twitter (follow me uh-oh!) on my lappy last night (prolly, 9:30pm) when i came accross with the post about jailbreaking iphone 3GS untethered (oh well, i've seen such post from a tweet friend earlier that day and just ignored it, although i was tempted to try it).

Now came this opportunity again to give it a try!

So i  re run a quick calculation on my current specs and history.

- i'm pretty damned sure the OS ver i got originally is 3.1.2 (i saw it back in my settings)

- of which the night i bought my iphone, i bravedly jailbroken it via blackra!n

- and so far it was a no-fuss (just chicken thing), Yup i did it by myself after reading some 3 posts from the iphone dev-team, ending my first jailbreak as a success

- later then that i realized, that the blackra!n jailbreak for the iphone 3GS is a tethered one, hackers said that we have to wait further for the release of the untethered jailbreak for the 3.1.2

- then Apple released the OS ver 3.1.3 (of which whenever i connect my iPhone to the usb cable with iTunes opened up, it's always asking me to UPGRADE to the latest OS, luckily i've always clicked NO or prolly CANCEL whenever this msg pops up!), well i got warned by my friend Bernard who's back in Pinas never to click UPGRADE cuz it's gonna upgrade my iPhone to the latest baseband. (hell yeah! i never knew what the heck was it or what's the effect till i experienced doing it, hehehe, just to add, i didnt have idea what was my baseband after i purchased it)

After that quick mental reminiscence of thy history, i went to the spirit website and read through the post. These are the things that has imprinted on my mind after digesting it:

- unTethered Jailbreak (Oh wow! sure! i got excited!)

- it's the latest official OS ver (well, aside from the fact about the beta version of the OS4.0- that supports multi-tasking abilities)

- enhances battery life or prolly, Prolongs???!

And the long moment is beyond from over....

- so i downloaded the windows version for Spirit jailbreak

- right clicked the app, got to Compatibility Tab and put a tick mark to "set as compatible to windows 98"

- then i pressed the Jailbreak button

- unfortunately, the Jailbreak has succeeded (as it showed feedback on my laptop screen) but my Iphone 3GS rebooted and just went to the Synching mode (like the Connect to Itunes image) and it got stucked there.

- my mind still composed, i waited further for the lock screen to appear but it seems a decade and it's still nothing

- so i disconnected my usb cable and closed Itunes. Reconnected my cable and opened Itunes back, it has now detected my iPhone, now telling me to UPGRADE....

The critical part... that is-

- i know, it has been a habit to click NO/CANCEL when ever i see the message asking for the UPGRADE but my gut feeling is telling me to click it that time! (hah! i re read the spirit post, and got convinced that i really need to click UPGRADE, why?

 it tells:

If you currently are using a tethered jailbreak, you have to restore to use Spirit. Do not upgradeif you use an unlock on an iPhone 3G or 3GS. (You can, however, restore to 3.1.2 if you have SHSH blobs for that version.)

On my case, i have to click UPGRADE inorder for me to complete the RESTORE which has discussed by spirit.. nevertheless, i clicked UPGRADE and waited for almost 30 minutes to complete the UPGRADE and RESTORE process. (well i didnt have a choice! if i wanted to RESTORE, i have to get pass thru that UPGRADE process first so i got convinced to click UPGRADE).

it was like a feel of super cold water splashed on my whole body when i spotted the words from the spirit post about "spirit is not a carrier lock"

and So! the white thin line that goes from left to right on my iphone is almost over ... like 99% and Itunes is saying... it's gonna reboot in 9 seconds... 8...7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

(to be continued.....)

"A first IMPULSE was never a crime"

~ Pierre Corneille

Craving for the Unknown

"greatness is to be unknown, inwardly and outwardly to be as nothing; and that requires great penetration, great understanding, great affection" ~ Krishnamurti, Benares India

Craving for the Unknown




resolve into nothingness
this wandering mind
so tired... so helpless
like nowhere to find

memories flashed
but i cant get enough
only to get abashed
into pains of laugh

thy wits so mocking
on my endless trying
to achieve satisfaction
yet with no conclusion

i long to hear thy triumph
but so elusive that is!
i long to catch thy bliss
instead i ended it amiss

Tell me! Tell me!!
Little Dearest
will my murmurs of pray'r
Be lost in the wilderness?

Be so gentle
and merciful to thee
for I am weak
for I am torn
with this feeling
so forlorn

spare me your love
will you?
spare me a moment
this borrowed grace
i implore

feel the craving
this bristling,
unknown to thee
let it pass..
let it pass..
i beg!
don't make it last..

Walking + a Music Player + Earphones

Lately, i've been conscious about my food intake. I blogged last week about taking in fruits with an empty stomach. Well, in relation to that, i buy these fruits in a nearby fruits stand close to our place, where i have to walk for more than ten minutes or more.  Not only that these fruits are fresh but the cost is much cheaper compared when getting it from the Super Market nearby. Let me check! Uhm, i do walk around 2-3 times a week going to the fruits stand. The reason i do not hoard fruits such as bananas are they easily get ripen. So i decided to regularly walk and buy fruits.

Although i enjoyed walking eversince my childhood days, i never realized that bringing in a music player with my earphones could be so much fun, in the sense that i took note of the songs that has been played during the course of my journey(Ofcourse i did this too back in Pinas when I was jogging in Luneta and within Baywalk but i never appreciated it much just like now) . You might find it corny, but hey! it's awesome! Not only does it enhance your imagination while walking but also, it gives some soothing effect especially that i'm always alone going back and forth.

The feeling - "it's very far, ahh! i'll do it next time" easily goes away from the corners of my mind as i foresee the excitement it brings. Another thing that i observed about walking, is its ability to give clear thinking, it's like, it gives room for you to see out-of-the-box situation especially if i'm torn in a knotty problem at work or something's bothering in the back of my mind, i resorted to this brisk walking! and the effect is quite remarkable, i can feel the results immediately. Like suddenly! it gave me an idea on how to solve such a certain problem i crossed.

Just 3 hours back, i came from the fruits stand and here's the list of songs that has been played on my phone.

Going to the fruit stand:

BoyzIIMen - I'll Make Love To You

SpiceGirls - 2 Become 1

Maroon5 - She Will Be Loved

Michael Learns To Rock - Nothing to Lose

Going back home:

Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want

Linkin Park - Crawling

Drew Barrymore & Hugh Grant - Wayback Into Love

Apo - Kabilugan ng Buwan

Uhm, finally i did it again! And i'm dead serious, this has became a habit for me, i'm enjoying it. On the mindset, i know deep inside the real benefits of walking, im happy to take note that i'm flavoring it with a touch of appreciation to music.

"All truly great thoughts are conceived through Walking" ~ Friedrich Nietzsche