Why Am I More Inlove Now, than 30 Years Ago?

Why am I more in love now, than 30 years ago?

 

Okay so this may seem like a silly question, but I'm approaching 30 years being married and I am wondering why these days I am way more in love than I was when we got married, exponentially more so.  I will see her face amongst others when at a party and all I want to do is walk over and give her a kiss, and sometimes I do.   I'm finding her way more attractive now than when we got married.  She's always had a great figure and been a bit of a hottie, but I'm just way more attracted to and in love now than I think I was when we first got married.

 

Yes I was in love when we got married, but these days it just seems to be that I'm infatuated with her.  Sex nowadays is awesome, not a reason for me to cum, but much more about the intimacy, the touch, the embrace and I focus way more on her pleasure than I did 30 years ago.  

 

But this is more than sex - I will walk past and steal a kiss, grab a hug or just give her a compliment, but I am doing this far far more than I did during our early years.

 

So basically my question is, have others noticed their love for their significant other increase tenfold as you mature in your relationship?

-Redditor: steveplat66 

 

Redditor: FrostySquirrel820:

"True love, if tended properly, continues to grow daily."

Insight - Attachment Theory, proposed by John Bowlby and later developed by Mary Ainsworth, suggests that strong emotional bonds are formed between individuals, particularly in intimate relationships. When partners tend to their emotional needs, provide support, and foster a secure attachment, it creates a foundation of trust and intimacy. This secure attachment serves as a basis for the continued growth of love.

Redditor: EpicSteak

"Married 34 years, she is beside now me sleeping. I love and lust her more than ever.

Her smile lights me up, her touch is like nothing else and the sex better than ever

Different now with hurting hips, or a stiff back but you work around it. 😄"

Insight - Self-Determination Theory, proposed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, emphasizes the importance of autonomy, competence, and relatedness in human motivation and well-being. In a loving relationship, when partners feel respected, understood, and valued for who they are, it fulfills their need for relatedness. This sense of connection and belonging contributes to the ongoing growth of love.

Redditor: MVIII

"My theory is that as you age you become more intune with your true authentic self. So when you love you love with more authenticity. So it feels stronger and just all round... More loving"

Insight  - Emotional Intimacy involves the sharing of one's innermost thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with a partner. When partners actively engage in deep conversations, practice active listening, and provide emotional support, it fosters a sense of closeness and intimacy. This emotional connection is vital for the continued growth of love.

Redditor: RoyalPaddy

"I can’t explain it well - but I think the longer you are together, experiencing life together, weathering the ups and downs, making memories together, trusting each other and appreciating each other- that all makes love grow deeper and stronger."

Insight - Positive Reinforcement, Based from behaviorist theories, the concept of positive reinforcement suggests that behaviors that are rewarded tend to be repeated. In a loving relationship, when partners express affection, appreciation, and validation for each other, it reinforces feelings of love and strengthens the emotional connection. This positive reinforcement encourages continued acts of love and nurtures its growth.

Redditor: SingsJazz
"Approaching our 20th anniversary. I love my husband very, very much. I am extremely grateful for him and never take him for granted. He, on the other hand, is borderline obsessed with me. I have to laugh -- it really is kind of adorable. We both feel very lucky to have found each other. Wish we had met when we were younger. We savor every day together. A good marriage can be the heart and soul of a well-lived life."

Insight - Reciprocal Altruism, In psychology, reciprocal altruism refers to the idea that individuals are more likely to engage in altruistic behaviors when they expect a similar level of kindness or support in return. In a loving relationship, partners who reciprocate each other's acts of kindness and care create a positive feedback loop. This mutual exchange of affection and support strengthens the bond and contributes to the growth of love.

 

In summary, true love is not static; it is a dynamic and evolving force that can thrive when nurtured. By attending to each other's emotional needs, engaging in reciprocal acts of kindness, and creating a secure and supportive attachment, partners can continue to strengthen their bond and allow love to grow daily. These principles align with various psychological theories that emphasize the importance of connection, reciprocity, and emotional intimacy in intimate relationships.

-O

Mastering Time Management in A Hybrid Work Setup

In a world where work and personal life are more intertwined than ever before, finding that perfect balance can feel like a Herculean task. But fear not, because we'll be sharing practical strategies that will equip you with the tools you need to thrive in this new work landscape.

 

We'll dive deep into topics like time blocking, prioritization, and focus.

Whether you're a seasoned pro or just dipping your toes into the waters of remote and in-office work, our mission is to provide you with actionable tips and proven techniques to boost your productivity, set effective boundaries, and harmonize your work and personal life.

The Top 3 Techniques

One highly effective technique for mastering time management in a hybrid work setup is **Time Blocking**.

 

**Time Blocking** involves allocating specific blocks of time to dedicated tasks or activities. Here's how you can implement it effectively:

 

1. **Plan Your Day Ahead**: At the start of each day or the night before, create a detailed schedule. Identify the most important tasks that need to be accomplished.

 

2. **Allocate Specific Time Slots**: Assign specific time blocks for each task or activity. Be realistic about how much time each task will take.

 

3. **Minimize Multitasking**: Focus on one task during each time block. This helps prevent distractions and allows you to give your full attention to the task at hand.

 

4. **Include Breaks**: Ensure you schedule short breaks between time blocks. These breaks allow you to recharge and maintain focus throughout the day.

 

5. **Set Boundaries**: Clearly communicate your time blocks to colleagues and family members. Let them know when you're available and when you need uninterrupted focus.

 

6. **Adaptability is Key**: While time blocking provides structure, it's important to remain flexible. Emergencies or unexpected tasks may arise, and you should be prepared to adjust your schedule accordingly.

 

7. **Reflect and Adjust**: At the end of each day, review how effectively you used your time blocks. Adjust your approach as needed based on what worked and what didn't.

 

By implementing time blocking, you can enhance your productivity, maintain a clear separation between work and personal life, and make the most of your time in a hybrid work setup.

 

____

Prioritization is a foundational skill in time management. It enables individuals in a hybrid work setup to make the most of their available time, achieve their objectives, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

**Prioritization using the Eisenhower Matrix**

 

The Eisenhower Matrix, also known as the Urgent-Important Matrix, is a powerful tool for prioritizing tasks. It categorizes tasks into four quadrants:

 

1. **Urgent and Important**: These are tasks that require immediate attention and are crucial to your goals. They should be addressed as a top priority.

 

2. **Important, but Not Urgent**: These tasks contribute to your long-term goals but don't require immediate action. Allocate specific time blocks for these tasks to ensure they don't get neglected.

 

3. **Urgent, but Not Important**: These tasks may seem pressing, but they don't directly contribute to your long-term goals. Try to delegate or find efficient ways to handle them.

 

4. **Not Urgent and Not Important**: These tasks are low-priority and should be minimized or eliminated. They often serve as distractions.

____

Hybrid work settings can sometimes lead to more distractions, especially when working from home. Focus reduces the impact of potential disruptions. 

 

When you have a clear understanding of which tasks are most important, you can make more informed decisions about how to allocate your time, resources, and attention.

 

**The Pomodoro Technique**

 

This  is a time management method that utilizes focused work intervals (usually 25 minutes) followed by short breaks. Here's how you can apply it:

 

1. **Set a Timer**: Choose a task and set a timer for 25 minutes (this period is called a "Pomodoro").

 

2. **Work with Focus**: During the Pomodoro, work on the task with undivided attention, avoiding any distractions or interruptions.

 

3. **Take a Short Break**: When the timer goes off, take a short break (around 5 minutes). Use this time to relax, stretch, or grab a quick snack.

 

4. **Repeat**: After four Pomodoros, take a longer break (around 15-30 minutes). Then, start the cycle again.

 

 

The Pomodoro Technique helps maintain focus and productivity while allowing for regular breaks, which can be especially beneficial in a hybrid work setup where distractions may be more prevalent.

____

Summary

By combinging these 3 tools: Time Blocking, the Eisenhower Matrix, and the Pomodoro Technique. You are arming yourself in optimizing productivity, setting boundaries, and achieving balance.

 

Time Blocking:

Technique for Optimizing Productivity and Setting Boundaries

Time Blocking is a structured approach to managing your day by dividing it into distinct blocks dedicated to specific tasks or activities. This technique empowers you to take control of your schedule, ensuring that every minute is utilized purposefully.

 

 

Application in a Hybrid Work Environment:

In the hybrid work model, where the lines between work and personal life may blur, Time Blocking provides a clear framework. By allocating specific time slots to work-related tasks, personal commitments, and breaks, you establish boundaries that foster balance.

 

Eisenhower Matrix:

Technique for Prioritization and Effective Decision-Making

The Eisenhower Matrix is a strategic tool that categorizes tasks based on their urgency and importance. By classifying tasks into four quadrants, individuals can discern which activities deserve immediate attention and which can be deferred or delegated.

Application in a Hybrid Work Environment:

In a hybrid work setup, where distractions and competing demands are common, the Eisenhower Matrix acts as a compass. It guides you in allocating time and energy to tasks that align with your overarching goals, ensuring that you focus on what truly matters.

 

Pomodoro Technique:

Technique for Sustained Focus and Productivity

The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method that employs focused work intervals, typically 25 minutes, followed by short breaks. By structuring work into concentrated bursts, individuals enhance their concentration, productivity, and efficiency.

Application in a Hybrid Work Environment:

For those navigating the challenges of a hybrid work setup, the Pomodoro Technique offers a lifeline. It enables you to immerse yourself in tasks without succumbing to distractions, while the regular breaks ensure sustained productivity without burnout.

 

Conclusion:

In the complex terrain of a hybrid work environment, mastering time management is a non-negotiable skill. Time Blocking, the Eisenhower Matrix, and the Pomodoro Technique serve as indispensable allies, equipping individuals with the tools they need to optimize productivity, establish boundaries, and strike a harmonious balance between work and personal life. By integrating these techniques into your routine, you'll not only excel in the hybrid work landscape but also thrive in the face of evolving professional challenges.

 

~Othello

researched and fact checked by the Quarantined Tipsters