Sunday, October 22, 2023

Why Am I More Inlove Now, than 30 Years Ago?

Why am I more in love now, than 30 years ago?


Okay so this may seem like a silly question, but I'm approaching 30 years being married and I am wondering why these days I am way more in love than I was when we got married, exponentially more so.  I will see her face amongst others when at a party and all I want to do is walk over and give her a kiss, and sometimes I do.   I'm finding her way more attractive now than when we got married.  She's always had a great figure and been a bit of a hottie, but I'm just way more attracted to and in love now than I think I was when we first got married.


Yes I was in love when we got married, but these days it just seems to be that I'm infatuated with her.  Sex nowadays is awesome, not a reason for me to cum, but much more about the intimacy, the touch, the embrace and I focus way more on her pleasure than I did 30 years ago.  


But this is more than sex - I will walk past and steal a kiss, grab a hug or just give her a compliment, but I am doing this far far more than I did during our early years.


So basically my question is, have others noticed their love for their significant other increase tenfold as you mature in your relationship?

-Redditor: steveplat66 


Redditor: FrostySquirrel820:

"True love, if tended properly, continues to grow daily."

Insight - Attachment Theory, proposed by John Bowlby and later developed by Mary Ainsworth, suggests that strong emotional bonds are formed between individuals, particularly in intimate relationships. When partners tend to their emotional needs, provide support, and foster a secure attachment, it creates a foundation of trust and intimacy. This secure attachment serves as a basis for the continued growth of love.

Redditor: EpicSteak

"Married 34 years, she is beside now me sleeping. I love and lust her more than ever.

Her smile lights me up, her touch is like nothing else and the sex better than ever

Different now with hurting hips, or a stiff back but you work around it. 😄"

Insight - Self-Determination Theory, proposed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, emphasizes the importance of autonomy, competence, and relatedness in human motivation and well-being. In a loving relationship, when partners feel respected, understood, and valued for who they are, it fulfills their need for relatedness. This sense of connection and belonging contributes to the ongoing growth of love.

Redditor: MVIII

"My theory is that as you age you become more intune with your true authentic self. So when you love you love with more authenticity. So it feels stronger and just all round... More loving"

Insight  - Emotional Intimacy involves the sharing of one's innermost thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with a partner. When partners actively engage in deep conversations, practice active listening, and provide emotional support, it fosters a sense of closeness and intimacy. This emotional connection is vital for the continued growth of love.

Redditor: RoyalPaddy

"I can’t explain it well - but I think the longer you are together, experiencing life together, weathering the ups and downs, making memories together, trusting each other and appreciating each other- that all makes love grow deeper and stronger."

Insight - Positive Reinforcement, Based from behaviorist theories, the concept of positive reinforcement suggests that behaviors that are rewarded tend to be repeated. In a loving relationship, when partners express affection, appreciation, and validation for each other, it reinforces feelings of love and strengthens the emotional connection. This positive reinforcement encourages continued acts of love and nurtures its growth.

Redditor: SingsJazz
"Approaching our 20th anniversary. I love my husband very, very much. I am extremely grateful for him and never take him for granted. He, on the other hand, is borderline obsessed with me. I have to laugh -- it really is kind of adorable. We both feel very lucky to have found each other. Wish we had met when we were younger. We savor every day together. A good marriage can be the heart and soul of a well-lived life."

Insight - Reciprocal Altruism, In psychology, reciprocal altruism refers to the idea that individuals are more likely to engage in altruistic behaviors when they expect a similar level of kindness or support in return. In a loving relationship, partners who reciprocate each other's acts of kindness and care create a positive feedback loop. This mutual exchange of affection and support strengthens the bond and contributes to the growth of love.


In summary, true love is not static; it is a dynamic and evolving force that can thrive when nurtured. By attending to each other's emotional needs, engaging in reciprocal acts of kindness, and creating a secure and supportive attachment, partners can continue to strengthen their bond and allow love to grow daily. These principles align with various psychological theories that emphasize the importance of connection, reciprocity, and emotional intimacy in intimate relationships.


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