Wednesday, March 15, 2023

The 7 Styles of Love, and Why Love Fades Over Time?


Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion, and understanding the different styles of love can help us recognize our own preferences and tendencies in relationships, as well as develop more fulfilling and satisfying partnerships. 

In this part 2 and final episode of our podcast episode: What are the differences of Love, Being Inlove and Liking someone, we will be discussing two major topics.

#1 What are the different styles or types of love as identified by research, and how they can manifest in our lives. 

#2 Why love changes over time

So whether you're in a committed relationship, casually dating, or simply curious about the nature of love, I hope that this episode will provide valuable insights and food for thought.

Here are some of the most widely recognized styles of love:

  1. Eros: This type of love is often associated with passion and physical attraction. It is characterized by intense emotions and a desire for physical intimacy. Eros is commonly seen in the early stages of romantic relationships.

    An example of eros love might be the intense attraction and passion that two people feel for each other when they first start dating. They might feel a strong physical and emotional connection and be driven by the desire to be close to each other.

  2. Ludus: Ludus is a playful and flirtatious type of love that is more focused on enjoyment and pleasure than commitment or emotional depth. It can involve casual dating, one-night stands, and other non-serious relationships.

    Ludus love might involve a casual dating relationship, where two people are more focused on having fun and enjoying each other's company than building a serious emotional connection. This type of love might not involve a lot of commitment or future planning.

  3. Storge: This type of love is often referred to as companionate love and is based on deep emotional connections and mutual respect between partners. Storge is commonly seen in long-term relationships and marriages.

    An example of storge love might be a couple who have been together for many years and have built a deep emotional connection based on mutual respect and shared experiences. They might value each other's companionship and support, and their love might be less focused on passion and more focused on comfort and stability.

  4. Pragma: Pragma is a pragmatic and practical type of love that is based on shared values and common goals. It often involves careful consideration and planning and is common in arranged marriages.

    A couple who have similar career goals and values might exemplify pragma love. They might have chosen each other based on shared interests and compatibility, rather than just physical attraction or intense emotions.

  5. Mania: Mania is an obsessive and possessive type of love that is characterized by intense emotions and a need for control. It can often lead to jealousy and possessiveness in relationships.

    Mania love might be seen in a couple where one partner is possessive and jealous, and constantly seeks to control the other partner's actions and behaviors. This type of love can be unhealthy and destructive, leading to arguments and misunderstandings.

  6. Agape: Agape is a selfless and unconditional type of love that is focused on giving rather than receiving. It is commonly associated with religious or spiritual beliefs and is often seen in acts of charity and compassion.

    An example of agape love might be someone who volunteers regularly at a homeless shelter or donates money to charity. They might be motivated by a deep sense of compassion and selflessness, wanting to help others without expecting anything in return.

  7. Philautia: Philautia is a self-love or self-care type of love that involves taking care of oneself and valuing one's own well-being. It is an essential type of love that forms the foundation for all other types of love.

    Taking care of oneself physically and mentally is an important aspect of philautia love. This might involve eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, practicing self-care, and cultivating positive relationships with others. By valuing and prioritizing one's own well-being, individuals can better show up for others and form more fulfilling relationships.

Research has identified several distinct styles of love, each with its own unique characteristics and qualities. Understanding these different styles can help us recognize our own preferences and tendencies in relationships and develop more fulfilling and satisfying partnerships.

Here are some details on how love changes over time:

  • Love changes over time because humans are dynamic and constantly evolving beings. As we grow and change, so do our needs, desires, and expectations in relationships.

  • The initial stage of romantic love, known as the "honeymoon phase," is characterized by intense passion, excitement, and infatuation. During this stage, we are often blinded by love and may overlook our partner's flaws or incompatibilities.

  • As time goes on, the honeymoon phase fades, and couples transition into a more stable, long-term phase of love. In this stage, the focus shifts from passion and infatuation to building a strong, healthy partnership based on trust, respect, and commitment.

  • During this stage, couples may experience challenges, conflicts, and hardships. However, how they respond to these challenges can determine the strength and longevity of their relationship.

  • Love can also change over time due to external factors such as life events, stress, and societal expectations. For example, becoming a parent can change the dynamic of a romantic relationship and require couples to adapt to new roles and responsibilities.

  • Love can also change over time due to individual growth and development. As individuals pursue personal goals and interests, their priorities and values may shift, and they may require different things from their relationship.

  • However, with open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to grow and evolve together, love can continue to flourish over time.

Love is a dynamic and ever-changing experience that requires effort, commitment, and adaptability. As we navigate the ups and downs of life and relationships, it's important to remember that love can continue to grow and evolve as long as we are willing to grow and evolve with it.

Thank you for joining me today to explore the fascinating world of love styles. From the passionate and intense eros love to the playful and carefree ludus love, from the deep and enduring storge love to the practical and pragmatic pragma love, and from the obsessive and possessive mania love to the selfless and unconditional agape love, we've covered a lot of ground today. But through it all, one thing remains clear: love is a powerful and transformative force that shapes our lives in countless ways. 

By understanding the different styles of love, we can better navigate our own relationships and build more fulfilling and satisfying partnerships. So whether you're a hopeless romantic or a skeptic, I hope that this talk has given you new insights and perspectives on the nature of love. Thank you, and may your hearts be full of love in all its many forms.


Listen to the podcast:

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Top 5 Reasons Why Separation Happens?


Separation can be a complex and difficult issue, and there are many factors that can contribute to it. Some of the most common reasons why couples get separation and divorce include:

  1. Infidelity - When one or both partners engage in extramarital affairs, it can break the trust and commitment that are essential to a healthy marriage.

  2. Communication problems - When couples struggle to communicate effectively, it can lead to misunderstandings, disagreements, and resentment, which can erode the foundation of the marriage.

  3. Financial problems - Money can be a major source of stress and conflict in a marriage. If couples have different priorities, values, or spending habits, it can lead to arguments and strain the relationship.

  4. Differences in values and goals - When couples have different ideas about what they want in life, such as career aspirations, parenting styles, or religious beliefs, it can create tension and make it difficult to find common ground.

  5. Lack of intimacy - Intimacy is an important part of a healthy marriage, and when couples struggle with physical or emotional intimacy, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, loneliness, and disconnection.

Of course, every marriage is unique, and the reasons for divorce can vary from one couple to another. It's important for couples to communicate openly and honestly, seek support when needed, and work together to address any issues that arise in their relationship.

These are the top 5 legal reasons for divorce that are recognized by many jurisdictions. These may vary slightly depending on the laws of a particular state or country, but generally, they include:

  • Adultery - When one spouse engages in sexual activity with someone outside of the marriage, it can be grounds for divorce. Adultery is considered a legal reason for divorce because it can be seen as a violation of the marriage contract.

  • Irreconcilable differences - This is a catch-all term that can refer to any number of issues that make it difficult for a couple to continue their marriage. It can include differences in values, goals, lifestyle, or personality that are so significant that the couple cannot find a way to work through them.
  • Abuse - When one spouse is physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive, it can be grounds for divorce. Abuse is seen as a violation of the marriage contract, and it can put the safety and well-being of the other spouse at risk.
  • Desertion - When one spouse abandons the other for an extended period of time without a valid reason, it can be grounds for divorce. Desertion is considered a breach of the marriage contract because it violates the commitment to support and care for one another.
  • Separation - When a couple lives apart for a certain period of time, it can be grounds for divorce. The length of the separation period varies depending on the jurisdiction, but generally, it must be at least several months to a year.

It's important to note that not all divorces are based on legal reasons. Many couples choose to divorce simply because they are no longer happy or compatible, and they do not need to provide a legal reason for their decision.

Marriage is indeed a sacred union of two souls that should be cherished and preserved. While it is natural for couples to experience differences and conflicts from time to time, it is important to work through these challenges and not give up on the marriage too easily.

There are many reasons why divorce or separation should be a last resort in a marriage. For one, the process can be emotionally and financially devastating, not just for the couple, but for any children involved as well. It can also lead to feelings of guilt, regret, and loneliness.

Instead of giving up on the marriage, I encourage you to work through your differences with your partner. This may involve seeking counseling or therapy to help you communicate more effectively and understand each other's perspectives. It may also involve making changes to your own behavior and attitudes, and finding ways to compromise and meet each other's needs.

Remember, marriage is a commitment that requires effort and dedication from both partners. It is not always easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling when both partners are willing to put in the work to make it successful. So I encourage you to take the time to work through your differences, and to seek out the support and guidance you need to build a strong and loving marriage that will last a lifetime.


Listen to this podcast: