What Have I Learned in November 2017?

Folks, welcome back to my W.H.I.L. for the month of November 2017. Let's read on and I do hope you'll find yourselves relating to some, or pick-up wisdom along the way.


#1. It's still different when you're confronted with the temptation to spend to your wants. Like craving for an iPhoneX when you can't really afford it, and a priority is set to spend on somewhere else. The game goes on, even to the point of dreaming it, but if your best reflexes came to a point of saturation, your desire decreases in a gradual manner.


#2. Commitment Device - It's applicable as form of prevention in order to not DO the things you don't want to DO, due to forced needs or temptations that are almost inescapable.

Take the case in Greek Mythology - the Sirens Song where, once a sailor hears the enchanted music, it gravitates him to the rocky coast of the island, eventually wrecking his ship and die. But Odysseus cleverly made up a "commitment device" - he asked his crew to tie him tightly to the mast, so that when he's an earshot to the song, he won't be able to navigate toward the rocky coast and just pass by without harm. True to the device's purpose Odysseus came out successfully unharmed.

Have you tried using a commitment device? Like, how not to be tempted in using your credit card... maybe locking it on a vault where the codes will be unknown to you.


#3. (my deeper appreciation on) The beauty and art of listening to Podcasts while driving - now that I'm behind the wheels most of the time, I couldn't afford to read eBooks any longer. So podcasts are now my better bestfriends than Spotify. I am wondering why I learnt these things late back in 2016, if only it could've been earlier - my brain cells would have chugged more info - keeping them fit and muscle worthy - which is one of the best defenses on Alzheimer's disease..


#4.  #PaFall (hastag paFALL) - a description I've been tagged by one of my girl-friends. Offline and online, facetime (face to face) and long distance - I guess I really have that tendency to be assigned as such. Contemplating deeply, on my past relationships, friendships, intimate and platonic - yeah and I backread my messages both in social media and text, I was really over-indulging when I care for someone - which for me, it was just a sense of normal responsibility as good Samaritan. Deviating from it, I felt robbed by the pleasure of giving care. And I need to appease that hunger - not to please people but to satisfy my sense of fulfillment to care for others.

Which is seen by those recipients as a different signal, a signal with color and meaning - something deeper, in their perception. But on mine, it is just an extraordinary form of kindness.

Because, one of my many mottos in life "practice kindness" at all times if you can.

Yet, I'm trying to veer away slowly with a sharper purpose when doing this "special care" to others.


#5. I was hurting like for a week in November, ego and heart-wise, if I am to qualify it deeper. Yeahhhhh! it all started with this simple message to a person who's long lost from my distant memory. I never knew it ended so enticing making me flutter with excitement, and long to move fast the months to come (because we planned to meet in March or April or December 2018)

Fast forward...

This chat and voice message over the internet ended so well, satisfyingly, and to describe it more intently - I was stoked. Something happened within those conversations, not just the typical hi-hello convo but a thicker instant bond was formed, raw emotions surging high that led to transparency and openness. Catching up on things, going though on past events and shared our versions of whatIfs.

It was wonderful - the bursting of emotions, was it because it happened somewhere between 12:01AM to almost 3:00AM? They said, when you talk to someone intimately on the wee hours of the morning, you can really get the truest of truth from each other.

I can't disclose any further for the sake of "respect".

To cut the chase..

Two things I learnt: a. be in the exact place to be in the shoes of being "umaasa", which is really hurting at this stage of my life. b. quick turn-around on how to get out from the rubble of being "umaasa" by the rule of facing the pain & shrugging it off.

(PS: If you're reading this, yeah - I want to thank you for the enlightenment, opening me windows to explore the darker side. Hahaha, this time i'll bring my to-be-purchased-powerbank just so if my flashlight runs out of battery, my phone will not run out with juices, HAHAHA)


#6. Drawing the lines with these: just pure friends, intimate friend and plan to convert-an-intimate-to-a-girlfriend.

I have this constant TG friend who for some reasons withstands my tantrums and spike of the moment pings at any time of the day. It has resulted to a great companionship whether that's in-person or via messenger.

So what are the difference between the 3 I mentioned above? TBH, I know the answers but something's whispering to my ears, keep going.



++ end ++


So yeah! That's it folks for me. Happy reading.


~billymacdeus



 

Leadership Credo

Leadership & Integrity


this thing called great desire  to achieve integrity at all times,
in any given situation ---

it's not an easy task.


but to yearn and act on it, each & every moment of your life ---

there is profoundness into it;
even at times, magical.


because leadership itself, is a purpose.


and in the end, what matters most -


is your sense of fulfillment.




~billymacdeus

A Dose of Poetry on IG

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A Poem For Two Sons

Let me be...

My sons, let me be..
a dad that loves unconditionally
a dad that protects readily
a dad that provides graciously.

Please let me be...
your eyes when the path is blurry
your voice when speaking is scary
your feet when you're stuck badly

Please let me be...
a vitamin that gives you energy
a friend when you hit puberty
a drinking buddy when you're lonely

My sons please let me be...





by Tony Baradi

A Dose of Poetry on IG

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Happy Birthday To My Mother, Fe Deus (2017)

It's 11:42 PM Manila Time.

Yep, I've greeted you over the phone, had a video call with you and the family earlier.

But before I lay down to sleep tonight, I went to the chapel,

and prayed.


I thanked Him for giving you to us.

I thanked Him for His endless blessings,

For  giving you the strength and life, that until now you still possess

despite the illnesses and struggles.

I thanked Him for your smile, and your reassurance.

There are no words to describe how you are so wonderful.

Most of all, I thanked Him - because you had us molded to have the true faith,

in our younger years, and until now - that we're adults already.

You instilled in us the reverence and the importance of the true gift - our sacred calling,

in the church.


Thank you, Mother. You are simply beautiful.


I love you.


Here's a song - I want to dedicate to you on your special day.

Happy Birthday po.

 

Twitter Account Hacked?

I wanted to capture to this, a moment of infused emotions of intense dislike, confusion and regret.

Yes, I can't log-in or cannot even retrieve my twitter account @macdeuz.

It all started when I was  browsing my twitter follower - and then I discovered the dark side of twitter.

It's called the alter universe or the pornography of twitter. I'm writing an article about this, in detail - with vivid samples of captured images or videos. Soon to be published.

It's going to be a huge exposé.

But, all is lost now, that account which has some approval and DM trails with some of those involved in this dark side of twitter who shared their views, provided their insights and gave their consent to be published... were lost, just in a snap.


Probably - this exposé was intercepted, some where along the way.


My main concern right now is - I can't retrieve my account. Another bad news is - I wasn't able to save my feed and DMs. Which were all instrumental (or shall be) for my documentation.


For now - please follow my FB page @macdeuz and IG @billymacdeus






~billymacdeus.

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What Have I Learned in October 2017?

As the political influence of President Duterte increases, my personal thoughts of learning for the month of October continues to occupy a sense of appreciation as this year approaches its end.


#1. It's a realization again that I should've pursued Bitcoin Mining back in the days when it was just new. I remembered setting up my own program ala-torrent- style, leaving it running even when your're away from your computer to do its own thing. I wasn't consistent and didn't pursue it, and now I'm feeling sorry for myself because of the missed opportunity. Yeah! Bitcoin is more than 250 thousand pesos now - this 4th quarter of 2017.

#2. I think I have been suppressing my self to fall in-love, again. Hahaha! It's definitely a  feeling not to entertain in these trying times. I think it is a mutual respect for the two individuals to carry a more-than-civil type of relationship given that the description of intimacy is more-than-friends-but-less-than-lovers. Maybe, I've been used to these types of companionships/relationships? It was because - their feedback for me when it comes to love - I'm more of the uncommitted guy, waiting for the friendship to blossom into a deeper, more meaningful affair but i don't commit, or stop there once i feel that the other person is falling already.

... and the friendship is going to fade. Eventually ending up in ruins.



#3. I have been driving a 4-wheel vehicle for almost 3 years now, and with the use of Waze, i feel more confident as i cruise the roads of the metro and has even reached the provinces of Ilocos Norte and as far as Isabela (Cauayan township). Far south, the farthest I've been to is Batangas.  I learned to discipline myself by reflecting to my past mistakes in driving. Both in thoughts and in deed.


#4. Waiting is a virtue. Although waiting attributes to stress and depression, (like the longer you wait for something, the higher your chances of getting stressed out as you long for that something or someone, to shape up to your expectations), it's also in the matter of how you put more weight in the way you hope. In the way you treat hope as a virtue, it make sense to lean on to hope versus hopelessness. This month, one of the many desires i've been waiting/hoping to be realized came into full shape. Yeah!!! with matching extra points or bonuses. Forever thankful, to Him.


#5. Guarding the chapel never comes out of style, it's one of the holy sacrifices you can make to your own religious upbringing. Personally and literally guarding the house of worship from 11pm - 4 or 5am (Manila Time), on a Sunday. It has ingrained in me as an adult the importance of putting reverence and concern to the house of worship.


#6. Raw emotions come out in solitude. Temperance in anger blasts no matter how you try to control it, doing damage to anyone who tastes the wrath it provides. This is something i'm working on to pacify and control.


#7. Rucking - Ha! I learnt this cardio exercise just before October has ended this year. It is an activity where you walk with a load on your backup. A load which is enough for you to complain as you walk farther - like more than 20 minutes of normal walking. It does give great health benefits to the whole body because walking keeps the form fit. It makes your intellectual meditation clear from bias, making you a more sound and logical thinker especially when you're in a knot of multiple decisions to make.

#8. Reverence ---  is a holy fear. A great quality that needs to be established as a leader  to their followers. Because your followers doesn't just fear you for the mere fact of fearing you as a human being, but for the sake of fearing that they will be at a loss and being unguided when they do not follow your will. I'm talking about the point of view in leadership on a corporate setting.




Those are my notable learning for October, i really hoped you enjoyed reading and that you were able to relate. Feel free to comment your feedback and your learning as well.




~billymacdeus

When I Stared Up Above...

The vastness of luminous dark grey, opened widely
as I stared above the skies.

with a moving tinge of white cottony clouds,
slowly passing through the starry backdrop
of blackness from above

and the distant full moon just alone, shining -
as if a huge marker of guiding light
from the passing clouds

with a ringless rainbow surrounding the dimmer light
creating a magical awe-effect to the mind
what a beautiful scenary, to look at -

on a peaceful guarding of the house -
for the Beloved.




~billymacdeus

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Epigrams in President Barack Obama's Farewell Address 2017

(this came from my drafts, i have to publish it once and for all)


I watched President Obama's Farewell address live, via YouTube Streaming. I know I am apolitical  on the US' political scene, yet to the inquisitive mind, i chose to finish it until the end, albeit i came from a work shift and i should be sleeping already that time.


Please indulge yourselves on these beautiful and profound thoughts coming from him. I have to mention, he never looked at his teleprompter or "kodigo" while delivering his speech, that was my observation. Did he do his speech extemporaneously? I knew he prepared for it but to convey such address in almost an hour farewell is such a mastery. He delivered it with conviction, with heart, and creating a trance you get to gravitate with during the full course of his speech.



"My fellow Americans, Michelle and I have been so touched by all the well wishes that we’ve received over the past few weeks.  But tonight, it’s my turn to say thanks."


"Whether we have seen eye-to-eye or rarely agreed at all, my conversations with you, the American people, in living rooms and in schools, at farms, on factory floors, at diners and on distant military outposts -– those conversations are what have kept me honest, and kept me inspired, and kept me going. " 


"And every day, I have learned from you.  You made me a better President, and you made me a better man." 


"Change only happens when ordinary people get involved and they get engaged, and they come together to demand it"


"For every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back.  But the long sweep of America has been defined by forward motion, a constant widening of our founding creed to embrace all and not just some."


"In 10 days, the world will witness a hallmark of our democracy."


"Our youth, our drive, our diversity and openness, our boundless capacity for risk and reinvention means that the future should be ours.  But that potential will only be realized if our democracy works.  Only if our politics better reflects the decency of our people."


"If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the internet, try to talk with one in real life. If something needs fixing, lace up your shoes and do some organizing."

  
"Show up.  Dive in.  Persevere."


"Sometimes you’ll win.  Sometimes you’ll lose."


"If you’re disappointed by your elected officials, grab a clipboard, get some signatures, and run for office yourself."






There was more, but for now - let's enjoy the richness of his wisdom. 

~billymacdeus

Singing, At A Different Level (Part 1)

According to research, singing - the vocal production of musical tone is so ancient that it even predates the development of spoken language.


I am exploring this topic because I wanted to share, my experience - possibly leaving an internet  footprint of the journey which all started, back in my kindergarten years, me, being a member of the choir.


Singing, at a different level.


Late 1989, it has all begun. It's the so-called, PNK Choir, a children's worship service choir dedicated to singing praises of worship in children's worship service of the Church of Christ (INC) - a religion re-established in the Philippines in July 27, 1914.


Each locale congregation of the INC has their own adult choir and children's choir. I started joining the latter during one of the year-end Thanksgiving - the choir is not the ordinary choir for children where you gather only if there are performances. This one requires discipline, efforts, sacrifices, faith and love. We practice weekly because the service is every Sunday, the hymns we sing during the Children's Worship Service must be practiced first before we perform our duties. During special occasions such as the mid-year Thanksgiving and year-End Thanksgiving, our rehearsal sessions are more rigorous, at times - spending more than an hour as we learn the notes, the hymns and tones of the numbers we are going to sing, led by the organist and the choir director.


At a young age, the foremost remembrance of me being in the choir is the unexplained feeling that pours over me as i walk the aisle of the church going to the choir loft; this happens on Thanksgiving Days. During Sunday worship services (PNK), i get to experience also an overflowing of calming, yet powerful emotions, something i couldn't describe when i was younger, and later unraveled as i received the truth during the indoctrination period.


With the endless weekly practice - a habit was not only formed at an early young age, the dedication (as a virtue) unbeknownst to me at that time were instilled; there were times - that i would ask and remind my folks for them to prep me for the practices or worship - and although i wonder why they smile back then, i now realized the reasons of their reactions as i progressed in my calling as an officer  - as a choir member.


Looking back further, and trying now to put my adult self in a child's shoes, on the way it gives importance to the duty of being in the choir - i highly think that the perseverance shown by my child-self back then was not driven mainly by my liking or being interested to sing in a choir, but because, something else is driving it at a larger scale. It was a gift bestowed, from a higher, divine calling. And that gift was a force that made me embraced the duty to being in the choir.


It is like when you give a precious gift to a child - he will adore it, care for it, wants it every moment, and at times they even wanted the gift lay close to them in bed. But what's making a difference being a member of the choir, singing on a weekly basis during your childhood years imparted, is that, this precious gift is considered as a renewed present, every time it was being performed(worship days), or being prepared (hymn practice). Which then makes it loop, an endless craving to do more, perform more and look forward more to the days of rehearsals, and worship services.


Another recollection from my memory performing in the choir as a child is the flowing of tears freely from within as we sang those hymns of praises, it's quite puzzling - from an adult non-INC's perspective - as to why the children cry during their hymn singing. Yet, in contrast to my own thoughts now as an adult inside the INC - as i observe the children singing hymns specially during Thanksgiving Days, i can see my child-self  to them when i was younger. Joyously reverberating the hymns from their young voices, echoing the powerful hymns of praises they rehearsed at a young mind and heart. The reason?, it was because of the Holy Spirit's grace and companionship.


Indeed, singing at a different level - a level where compassion and  divine spiritual inspiration were infused in the performance of a holy duty.




-billymacdeus


PS:

This is the part 1 of this article - encompassing my experience as a member of the Children's Worship Choir inside the Church of Christ.

I shall write soon the journey of my being in the Juniors Choir.

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What Have I Learned in September 2017?

This month is the metamorphosis of coping with unfortunate series of events that led to more unfortunate events.

It’s also the realization, or let’s say, inculcation of appreciating hope when hope itself is against itself, sounds weird - but continue reading to find out more.




#1. Adulting is by far the post partum of dealing the consequences you’ve been through in your twenties. And when I say you’ve been through, i’m pertaining to all the unconscious decisions and carefully planned activities you have made starting at the age of twenty to twenty-nine.


#2. Expectations somehow bring the scale of excitement higher. It builds the imagination’s capacity to surge extraordinary fantasies or desires - materially or any aspect of the human brain can conceive. But the opposite has a significant impact of pain when these expectations are not met. They say, the less you expect, the less you’ll be hurt. It dawned on me, the hell with pain; the more you get those bruises, the more you come out as a stronger person, a sojourner, a warrior in this life.


#3. When things go awry and the events of unfortunate things happen tremendously one after the other, the moment to step back and contemplate really helps a lot. Watching the events replay in your mind brings you to a halt and see in detail what was the missed step or missing part of the equation. Putting these missed items into perspective will lead you to solve the rut you're in and later applying it to similar situations you may encounter in the future.


#4. Loving the rainy season is not necessarily looking forward to rain every single day of the week. Yeah, I lean in to the preference of the rainy season versus the summer; but longing for it to be the same downpour every day is too much. It makes me get tired easily to refresh my car because I don’t have a carport. Not only that, my kicks - may it be leather or the casual wears may get the dirty look because of the splash rains and mud - remember, you're not always in your car or in your office building.

#5. Having a good friend who laughs hard, smiles unreluctantly and the-hell-i-care-with what-they-say behavior makes you want to hang-out with her again, and again.


#6. Cutting-Ties. To a person who've done you so much good but provokes, manipulates and cares too much is worth burying the relationship for good. Yeah, and by all means - social media- wise and face-time / hang-out-moments-wise. It’s form of decluttering. As you grow older, you really tend to lose friends and babyloves.



I’ll post my “ What Have I Learned in October ?“ article come November this year. Until then….

~billymacdeus ®

The Philippine Archipelago At Night from a Mapmaker

Interestingly, as you look closer on the map, the total light-outs percentage is at around 90%, (my own  estimate). I am unsure on what time of the night was this based, or, was it created on an averaging basis (or other Statistical measures mixed with Geo Tools) , nevertheless, the beauty of it all boils down to one thing - The Philippines is mainly at rest during the night, lesser energy is being utilized which could mean helping our environment.

Image was shared by @CNNPhilippines courtesy of a Filipino Mapmaker - @mapmakerdavid who is currently trending at the moment.

You can take a look at this article from Esquire as they showcase David's mastery as a mapmaker, using the Philippines as one of his subjects.





-billymacdeus

Worship Service Lesson: The Holy City

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What Have I Learned in April 2017?

April was a month of so much reckonings and thought-provoking situations that happened randomly. Some opportunities have opened which made me learn and has me picked nuggets of wisdom along the way.


Somehow, one of the best spiritual strengthening happened in this month because of the pastoral visit from Brother EVM of Iglesia Ni Cristo.

It is also the summer’s peak in the Philippines, leaving me take a shower with a maximum of 7 in a day.

#1. I learned the Mama Bear effect - that women tend to negotiate more easily than man. And most often than not, women would channel their strength to influence by means of their Mother Love  that is innate in them.


#2. I learned that speaking-up is both dangerous and liberating. When you speak up either by writing or verbally spoken language, your right to express your opinion (most likely) will be perceived on the state of your mind and mood. Was it triggered because of anger, of caring too much, out of compassion, of sarcasm or just being plainly objective and factual? Whatever those mood buttons were, be ready to face the feedback you’re going to get. In the end, the liberty to convey your thoughts was accomplished.


#3. I learned the copier machine principle or the "because" principle of Influence. Whenever you reason out and needs to get a result leaning to your side, use the conjunction “because” and provide any reason - it maybe with sense or no sense at all, most often thanks not, you’ll get through it with the results favoring your way.


#4. The love that never fades is untrue. You may be in love with the person before but as you get to see the flaws and questionable behaviors - normally seethes out in the back of your mind, the “love” you profess may warrant to disintegrate through time. It is now up to your own liking and drive whether you nurture the feelings of love further, or, dwell on the flaws then expect to get out of the friendship or mutual relationship sooner or later.



~billymacdeus

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Dear Love

This is an unsent letter, ages - long ago. Instead of letting it hidden in the archives of draft materials. Let be it known to the world.

... and as you read this, i fervently hope to your sustenance of happiness and peace.

Dear Love,

I intend to do this everyday, to write you love notes... because i feel that it's worth it, it's something that we can go back to when our days are older, when our grey hair will shame the strength of the youth for its beauty and elegance. Yeah, i can't help but smile seeing us, together, holding hands on a pathwalk in a park, feeling the breeze, the winds whispering its thoughts to our cheeks, when we are older.

I don't know, but, it may be just a coincidence, that i get to think to write you this lovenote or loveletter, whatever you may call it, on this Heart's day. I don't believe in Valentine's Day actually, but I'm doing this not to impress you nor to go with the flow of trends nowadays but because, simply, i love you.

You know? I can't really get enough of you, all these years, my affection, admiration and respect to you has never waned. In fact, it seemed, greater. Yeah, i guess, i'm in this phase where post maturity in our relationship has reached its sustained bliss - that even the simplest things you do, i get to appreciate all the more.

You are beyond indescribable. Not only that you are beautiful or shall i say .... ravishing but you are my life. I don't know how to deal with the world if i'll lose you. I've been to different extremes of life's challenges but you have been the greatest and the most sublime conception that happened in my life.

Baby, i love you not only to the moon and back, it may sound mawkishly sentimental, but i don't care. I just love you with all my heart. I know you can feel me, the intensity of these words as you read it in your eyes, but please let me have the affirmation, that as you read this, your heart is full of joy just like my heart is, where both, our hearts are beating rhythmically, to the dance of sweet emotional attachment, more than intimacy, more than love - our fate, our destiny to be with each other, forever and beyond eternity.




With all my heart,

- -






~macDeuz

What Have I Learned In February 2017

#Edited - because i thought this was published last March!

You bet! I thought i am not true to my promises, but seriously, i really thought this article was published - because i set it to auto-published on the settings but then it failed!

Here's the original scribble:
February is a time for me to enjoy the benefits of calmness, after what i've been through last January - where the accident happened, now is the time to relax and indulge with the effect of peace after the storm.


#1. I learned that it's really damn hard to move on. Somehow, all you thought was you're over that person but in the recesses of idleness, you get to still think of those memories both of you shared, which in turn puts you to long and miss again. To the point that even the slightest of scents you smell brings you back to that state of "i wish we are still together" moment.

#2. I learned that leadership is a never-ending battle to strive for excellence in a 360 degree angle. You will never perfect the art of leadership, for as you see your flaws and the flaws of other leaders, you get to learn - again and again.

#3. I learned that letting a woman fall for you is always too late for you to know that you unknowingly shared your "real you" without any pretenses, leaving you astounded because you never thought that she will be so into you after some time. And then making you realize nothing because you've done nothing at all to let her fall, only to get shocked again that she has been hurting because you can never fall again.

#4. I learned it is effin hard to get sick, especially when you're alone. No one does, or will take care of you but yourself.

#5. I learned that waking in bed clothesless is the best thing thus far.

#6. I learned that the BIG 1 (the impending earthquake in Metro Manila) is really really scary, I had the chance to attend the training awareness of a non-government org (NGO) about this topic, and it crumpled my knees freakishly. I mean

#7. I learned that driving cures, or shall i say, comforts the wounded mind, or heart. At least for the time being, but it does transcends you to a different state as you pass by the road, endless or not.

#8. I learned that shower thoughts are mostly the byproduct of your analysis of previous experiences, encounters or thought-processes you've been through. And then - if you have the courage to realize those shower thoughts, you'll end up winning those battles again.

#9. I learned that February is just another month, about to pass - no such huge fuss but reminding me that time heals, not only on the aches of heart but of the mind.

#10. I learned that in every storm - it will always pass. With it, it's how you go through it (may it be violently reacting, or strategically overcoming it) that matters - because after all it's being done, you get to appreciate that results will always matter in the end.



'till next Learning for the month of March.


Regards,
BILLYMAC

Of Today

~billymacdeus

The Critic

~billymacdeus

Of Lessons Learned

~billymacdeus

Smile, an everlasting smile ..,

~billymacdeus

Don't Let That Spark Of Hope Die

~billymacdeus

Save the World!

~billymacdeus

Of Reciprocity

~billymacdeus

Integrity and Driving

What Have I Learned in January 2017?

One of my tasks from my TODO LIST is to publish or write my learning every end of month. This occurred to me one hot day as i took a shower, normally, it takes me two to three minutes, but on that steamy afternoon - my shower regimen took me 10 minutes because of the birth of thoughts and plans to execute in the future.

So these are the initial marks that carved in my heart in the 1st month of this year. If you can relate, go ahead and share your comments below, or I'd be happy to see your remarks.

#1. I learned that every single thing you own may disappear in a blink of an eye. And yes! Even life - this got inculcated not only in my brain but my heart when i ran into an accident on a New Year's day.

#2. I learned that pain is subjective; it can be layered or measured with intensity depending on your emotional attachment to the situation or accomplished memories with it. That made me realize that when these pains come together all at once (physical, emotional or spiritual), you get to lament mostly on the most painful of experiences. It gets easier as the lesser pains joins the grieving process of the major one.

#3. I learned that reciprocity is human nature. When you give, you get something in return most often than not. It could be a direct exchange gift or the other person may show the gratitude on another kinder way.

#4. I learned that the sinking-in of a problem in my thought, and mind-process happens gradually especially toward a death & life experience. That during the realization, you gradually see the things that positively it has brought.

#5. I learned that seeing "love is in the air" in your circle of friends may somehow give you a tinge of envy, given that you are single; but in the end, during your solitude, happiness still overshadows the envy because you know for a fact that contentment still reigns even when alone.

#6. I learned that waiting may test your creativity to expedite things. Your sense of control and influence peaks up because you know what you want.

#7. I learned that missing someone can be ignored when that period of longing gets diverted in an experience of major trauma or fear that you ran into.

#8. I learned that inclusion of whom you hang-out with  is apparent as you climb in the corporate ladder.

#9. I learned that sometimes it is scary to know that you're in a streak of achievements and happiness for days or weeks or months, because you'll never know, when that negative situation pops in, right in front of your eyes.

#10. I learned that being consistent to your promises to the Divine will always get you comforted in the darkest of hours.

#11. I learned that prayers and meditation inside a holy place never failed to calm your senses and sanity of your judgment.

#12. I learned that you are in a period of adjustment to think clearly or at a sober state, 30 minutes or an hour after a major accident.

#13. I learned that i am responsible for my actions - and accepting the flaws that in turn prove as wake-up call to renew or revise the old habits that were now tagged as incorrect ways.

#14. I learned that it's ok to be rejoicing when you break with someone special given that the intimacy or friendship is untowardly. But the heartache still do cut painfully.

#15. I learned that your brother and your family really REALLY loves you even they don't say it in words. Action really does speaks louder!

#16. I learned that letting the reigns off the horse keeps you productive and creative. Expanding your horizon to try and learn things on your own. But also widthraws the accountability to receive necessary rewards when struck with milestones.

#17. I learned the butterfly dust effect ~ that you can only influence so much around you, be it on the negative or positive spectrum of life.

#18. I learned that writing your complaints is highly resolvable, you just have to wait for the right time and the right moment. Make sure to see it through until results are pouring in.

#19. I learned that ironing my clothes and washing my laundry consistently during Sundays or early Saturdays give me a sense of fulfillment and achievement. I get to save money too by not depending on the wash shop.

#20. I learned that sticking to a routine 21-day straight is difficult, yet, it really can be done - thus providing benefits later because you are now forming a habit. Just make sure it's a correct one.



So there you go! Showering indeed is productive, snippets of imagination are birthed wonderfully. Then again, the spark and flames must be unfanned for you to be able to execute those plans.


Wishing everyone a joyous, peaceful and success-filled February.

'Till next learning!!!

~billymacdeus

Empty (Part 2)

A Note To Readers : Read this aloud in a perfectly silent room, feel the emotions, it's worth experiencing. (~billymacdeus)

Empty (Part 2)

I stared at the empty wall. 
It was all messed up, 
dull, 
irrelevant. 
I can see what were before myriad attempts 
at decoration; 
livening 
but they were destined 
to either not last 
or worse, 
fail. 
I succumbed to the floor 
tired, 
contemplating over 
what I had just done. 

It felt right at the moment 
but 
it also felt like 
I let go 
of something important 
that it was foolish to do so. 
I bowed my head 
over my knees, 
my forehead flat on it. 

I knew I wanted 
to cry 
but I guess 
I just was tired 
and sick 
of this 
that I cannot 
anymore. 

I'm tired
of all the pretenses 
that I've told myself 
and others. 
I'm tired of 
holding onto 
the fact that 
all I that I ever had 
were temporary. 
I'm tired of
this goddamn thing 
altogether. 

I knew before then 
that it was somehow a dream come true 
but as with all dreams, 
I must wake up. 
And I just did – yet every once in a while, 
I find myself 
wanting 
to 
dream again...


~Mikez Magtibay


Savor the part 1 of this poem here.

Moods

~billymacdeus

Blinds

How come?
I get blinded
By the tears
Brought by
Your smiles
At my downright
Stupidness
In adoring
Your boring self.


~billymacdeus

Of Behavior

~billymacdeus

Inside Out

~billymacdeus

Empty (Part 1)

Empty (Part 1)

I knew it was coming, 

but the only question was when. 

Little by little, piece by piece, 

I reluctantly defaced the soothing wallpaper 

that I had so painstakingly pasted 

on the wall. 

Inch by inch, 

I slowly bore my nails 

into the fragile paper 

and started tearing 

it apart. 

I cringed 

and reveled at the same time 

hearing the sound of ripping paper - 

as if my hands 

were moving on their own volition 

while something deep inside 

is telling me to stop. 

Until the day 

when I finally tore the last piece of it 

only it did reveal the plain, 

grey paint behind. 

Patches of color 

splattered along the now barren wall, 

but that's just what they are, 

splatters. 

Little blotches of faded colors 

which only reminded me that a wallpaper 

is not 

what I needed 

but something more adherent, 

solid. 

It reminded me that 

not a day ever 

was I able to find someone 

to paint the wall with.

~Mikez Magtibay

Go check his newly elected blog
Mike with a 'z'

Results and Quality

Everyone Started from A Scratch

~billymacdeus

Of Accountability

~billymacdeus

Of Games

~billymacdeus

Of Leadership

~billymacdeus

Of Revenge

~billymacdeus

Lovestruck En

(this is a guest post from someone named Jing Wang)

Lovestruck En

Because of you,
I learnt people can fall in love at first sight.
Love comes unexpectedly like magic when looking at your eyes, and
Life is a gift from God created in His own image.
You are like that star not ever seen but closer to my heart already.

My big boy,
And
Confession of my thought

Dear, you are so charming and I do mean it.
Expect the arrangement by Almighty as it is mysterious and it won't be put asunder.
Ultimately, it extends from one to both the moment God approves for it.
So let the heart go on and share the love we have today as it stays right here.

~jingwang





Notes from me:
Anyone is free to submit their prose and poetry. It will be yours, credited to your name or your desired pen name, you can even be tagged anonymously as you like.

You may send it thru any of the following:
1. mac.deuz@gmail.com
2. Message me in http://facebook.com/macdeuzblog


Regards and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

~billymacdeus

Self-Reliance

(billymacdeus on his way going home on a cold windy morning, jeep commute)

The Isosceles Triangle

I became to be fond of the isosceles triangle
A dreamy and bouncy one
Reverberating as i touch, the isosceles triangle
So sweet and lovely one.



~billymacdeus


(Okay, dont be judgmental yeah? Hahahaha!)

Seven Times Seven? - I asked ...

You were angry at me, untiring.
Like the waves' infinite rhythm lapping on the shore.

Unforgiving, despising at my flaws.
Like the fiery sunlight, beaming on my window.

That reminds me, of how we got awaken
By its brightness
Under the sheets, our arms entangled,
In embrace

Now, you're gone...
A message from you, so deeply longed for.
Like a land, so barren
Waiting for the rain.

It has ceased now, i moved on.
Forgetful not, but acceptance and carrying on.
Have settled, none the less.
At the break of dawn, though.
I can hear my soul...
Its echoes
Its murmurs
And its cries.



~billymacdeus

Just Before Dreamland

Before i drift into slumber
Memories of not so long ago flashing,
On my vision, blurry now..
Almost my eyes would totally close
to sleep
But in between those blinks
I knew i smiled
For i saw your face smiling
But sleep keeps on pulling me
Although i wanted to still see
You, even in fragments
On my tired mind
Trying to prolong
The fleeting encounter
But what can i do?
My arms flailed tenderly
And slowly it stopped
And my eyes are closed now.
Yet in my consciousness
You are there,
Smiling back at me again...
And i knew my lips too,
Managed to smile back at you
And so at that fraction of a second
When our eyes locked
With each other -
That's when i knew
I went off
In entering dreamland.
With me is the calmness
For i know,
that when i
Wake up, and return to sleep
to rest...
I shall see you again.

... Just before dreamland

~billymacdeus

Homebound

The walk to home is like the feasting of the eyes
on a lush green valley, scenic and adorable;
breathtaking, incomparable.

The walk away from home is like the hopeless
shouting for the pain at least to stop;
excruciating, leaving you - teary eyed.


~billymacdeus

Anchor Of The Heart

Feign the loss luster into a clamor of hope
For in this world-- gorged with sorrows and pain

Quit not your fight, no matter how hard
For it is just in the mind

You can succeed - command your heart!
And so your thinking thus align

To the virtue, and the dictate
of, your heartbeat.




-billymacdeus