~ guestPost from Thinkerbelle
As rain breaks through an ill-thatched house, passion breaks through an unreflecting mind [Dhammapada]
Being a single Tita is now becoming a "thing". Tita meaning, you're middle aged adult behaving like the typical middle class Titas.
Unlike in the 80's or 90's, reaching that age unmarried is now more common. Was it their personal choice? Is it possible to have emotional mutation due to environmental issues? Or maybe it's the side effect of social developments? Be the judge...
- Bakit nga ba sila may "The One, tapos ako wala?
- Bakit sila me jowa, ako wala?
- Bakit ang romantic relationship ay isang malaking hiwaga para sa akin?
- Bakit ang ilap ng pagibig sa akin while all along I believed in the purest form of love?
- Bakit nga ba?
Hindi naman daw ako panget lolssss! And I felt normal naman, like I laugh when they laugh, and I cry when they cry, (if that's enough basis of being normal). Baka something is wrong with me? Hmmnn, re-phrasing it so as not to demean ourselves, what is it that I don't understand?
So yun na nga mars, salamat sa almost a month na ecq nung 2019. Marami itong negative effects sa karamihan especially its economic impacts. On the other hand, looking at the silver lining, this still time has given chance for people to really soul-search. Sa maraming kababaihan na kagaya ko, very career-oriented, kinain na ng araw- araw na kaabalahan ang buhay, ang me-time para sa pagmumunimuni ay isang luxury that we can't afford, or maybe we simply put aside due to it's least importance. And that community quarantine has put a stop to everything, forcing us to do something out of nothingness.
So bakit nga ba tita wala kang jowa? Eto na nga.
Una, hindi ko priority, kasi hindi ko masyadong tanggap na kailangan ko. Sa pakiramdam ko, kaya ko naman kahit wala akong jowa.
- "Darating man sila.., hindi kung hindi".
- That "strong independent woman" thought, over-ruling my life.
- Adding the fact na maraming pakboys lolssss! Not all, naman po. Peace guys! In simple terms, I don't live with the sense of interdependence, and not because I have a negative conditioning about men.
- Interdependence, in the sense... na most of the time, I can manage all by myself, out of free will, and out of maturity - lifted from the basis of sustaining that image and attitude -- strong-willed-independent-woman.
Pangalawa, I've denied myself of vulnerability -- it was rooted from childhood. Something that I used to protect myself. A defense mechanism. I was so used to it that I simply ignore my emotional side.
- It's easier to feel numb.
- Less drama. Less complications.
- Things are easier to understand and manage using my brain.
- Not acknowledging my vulnerability is tantamount to denying my true sense of self.
- This is one of the keys to understanding others as well.
- So I am missing this part. I have difficulty in understanding others.
- Yung lagi na lang akong manhid. Lagi kong late ma-realize na may pahiwatig pala si koya. I've missed a lot of chances I guessed? Baka I already had my TOTGA and too late now. (TOTGA, in case you didn't know is "the one that got away")
